Should, could, would

 It’s one of those few moments where you’re not really sure how you’re supposed to react to the situation. It’s one of those times when you’re thinking of a person, and suddenly you see him walking towards your direction. And after that short, unexpected encounter, you feel like slapping yourself for ignoring him.

I shouldn’t have pretended that I saw him.

I shouldn’t have concentrated on looking at the wet pavement when I saw him coming.

I shouldn’t have waited for him to call my name for me to look up.

I shouldn’t have just given him a lame, plastic smile and a small wave to acknowledge him.

But can you really blame me for acting that way?

The last time I saw him was a month ago and he stopped texting me three weeks ago. No communication at all. He hasn’t sent me any IM in my YM account, hasn’t checked my multiply account, and I’m sure he has stopped reading my blog too.

I know he was surprised to see me too. And I must admit that it really felt good when he called my name.

So now I regret not showing him how ecstatic I really was to see him. I should have smiled at him or I should have at least looked at him in the eye.

Should have. Could have. Would have. I guess that’s how everything would be now.