Upsized cheeseburger meal

Can somebody please scold me for eating an upsized cheeseburger float meal? Damn. It will go down the hips by tomorrow.

But I think I have every excuse to pig out anyway:

1. I was depressed the whole day (actually kagabi pa)
2. The laundry woman didn’t come today. So I don’t have anything to wear tomorrow. If I’d known that she wasn’t coming today, I should have washed my clothes yesterday.
3. Had a big fight with my parents.
4. A sudden realization came to me while I was in the shower. *glass shattering* ‘no matter how I try and whatever I say, he won’t change his mind.’
5. So I got more depressed.
6. I was hungry.

So there. I will make another promise to myself again — no fast foods ‘til next month.

Something Else

They say there’s a reason for everything…

But the sad truth is that: some reasons are not reasonable enough to justify the cause…

Howkay. I’ve come to a decision of not posting blogs that has anything to do with him — well at least I’ll try. I don’t have anyone to talk to. I don’t want to be a burden to my friends by telling them over and over again how miserable my life is. I don’t want to weigh them down with my problems. (I know what you’re thinking: So this girl thinks she has the right to shout to the world her misery? We have our own problems too you know.)

I’m sorry. Instead of mocking me, why not give me a good advice instead? Now that would be of great help.

Why the sudden decision to stop blogging about him?

1. I’m being pathetic.
2. He’s not reading my blog anymore.
3. No matter how hard I try to write good stuff about him, it’s not going to make him come back. Yes. I have to face that fact.

I’m torn between holding on and letting go. Advices from friends aren’t much of help either. I guess this is something I have to decide on all by myself. I still believe that there is a chance that I would be able to fix the mess I made, but what he’s doing right now (acting indifferent and all) tells me something else.

Today

TODAY, GOD WANTS ME TO KNOW THAT:

You can tell yourself that you have already decided, that nothing now can stop you, but if that step backwards is so much safer than step forwards, what will hold you true to your path when the going gets tough? Sometimes, the right thing to do is to take that first irreversible step, the one after which you cannot go back. And now, for you, is one of those times.

PRIDE.PRIDE.PRIDE

Pride is what’s keeping me from dialing his number and asking him what’s wrong.

Pride is what’s keeping me from texting him and asking if he’s mad at me.

Pride is what’s keeping me from begging him to change his mind.

Pride is what’s keeping me from asking him to stay.

Pride is what’s keeping me showing a façade and fooling everybody that I’m okay even though I’m not.

Pride is what’s keeping me going even though I’m broken inside.

PRIDE. PRIDE. PRIDE. And my friends tell me I don’t have that anymore. NEWSFLASH people:

If I didn’t have my pride, I could have called him and asked him what the hell I did for him to act so indifferent towards me.

If I didn’t have my pride, I could have asked him to stay.

If I didn’t have my pride, I could have told him he still makes my day.

And though I still have my pride, I can’t bear the thought of him seeing other girls.

PRIDE. Stand tall or swallow it?

I’m Sorry