The first hello

After 2 weeks of totally no communication, he talked to me again. That single word made me believe that he still existed.

It has been a month since the last time I saw him. I had been wishing for this day and been replaying in my mind over and over again how I wanted it to happen. But it didn’t really turn out the way I wanted it to. I was surprised. No… More of SHOCKED actually. I wasn’t expecting nor was I ready to see him — mentally, physically and emotionally. Hahahaha. I looked haggard, fat and just plain horrible this morning. I woke up at the wrong side of the bed and I just wasn’t feeling good as I went to school and I wasn’t at my best kanina.

Instinct kicked in as I was nearing the stairs to go to the cafeteria. My mind was telling me ‘andiyan siya’. But I knew it was impossible for him to be there at that time. So I ignored the little voice at the back of my head and continued walking. As I was going down the stairs, I saw him. I was like, ‘oh shit! Of all the days why now?? Kung kelan mukha akong basura hahaha’. Good thing I went to the CR to fix my hair first. I looked down, tried not to meet his gaze. I didn’t know how to acknowledge his presence, or if I should even acknowledge it. Until he called my name. Yehess. It made my day. Hahaha. I was already nearing the 1^st floor when he called me. I turned around and waved…. Without even smiling. (Damn it Berenice! Way to go!) I was left shocked, wobbly and disoriented for a while. I ignored him on my way up. I was too shy to say ‘Hello’. Hahaha. Yehess. Nagiging shy pa pala ako. I wanted to but didn’t have the guts to do it.

As I sat down in my seat, I realized I must have left the wrong impression. Great! Ang galing ko talaga. Baka iniisip niya ayoko na siya kausapin. I wanted to kick myself for a ‘job well done’. Tanga.

Parang first hello lang. Naghihintayan kayo pareho kung sinong unang mag-hihi. Parehong nahihiya at natatakot mapahiya. Pano nga naman kung hindi ka niya pansinin pag nag-hello ka? Sa ganitong mga sitwasyon, TALO ANG MGA DUWAG. Dahil sa huli, magsisisi ka din for not even trying at pagpapalipas sa pagkakataon. One hello makes a difference. It might even make someone’s day.

TALO AKO. DUWAG AKO. ALAM KO.