Running out of tears

    Nobody but I could really understand the confusion that i’m going through right now. I’m in between holding on to something that i know really isn’t for me,. and letting go of something that will only cause me unending emotional pain and torture. Everbody’s giving me advices on how to move on and what i should and should not do. But they can’t fully comprehend the hullabaloo that’s been going on in my mind lately.

    I really don’t know what to do right now. I sometimes wakeup in the middle of the night cryin. I wake up in the morning and the first thing that I can think of is:

  "I can’t do this. I’m not yet ready to move on. "

     But then as the day passes by, I would stop what i’m doing and realize,

    "I am decided to move on. "

    This could go on for days and days like an unending cycle. In geometry, it is like a line that could go on and on without you knowing when or where it would end.

    Whenever i cry, I always cry my heart out telling myself, "This is the last time I’m going to shed tears. So why not shed it all, right?" This therapy would help me for a few days and then i would cry again for the same stupid reasons i can’t get over with.

    What should i do is a rhetorical question that people around me try their best to answer. But they are only doing it in vain because they know that no matter how hard they try to persuade me to do things for my own welfare, I would still go on my path leading to more emotional pain, thus leading me to another day of misery.

    I know i am the only one who could really answer my own question. What they are giving me are guidelines to the answer to a puzzle that i’ve been laboriously trying to figure out.

    One day i will wake up in the morning, not crying but rather smiling, because i finally found the answer to the question that i keep on asking myself. Now, I’m just hoping that day would soon come because sadly, i am running out of tears to shed.