Jogging

Since vacation has started, I’m planning on jogging to shed off the extra weight I gained these past few months. But since my sister has to leave early for her review for the board exam, I am left in charge of my baby nephew. Well… I can’t take him along on jogging — I would look silly pushing on a baby jogger stroller (which we don’t have by the way).

ergonomics

Durable and affordable office furnitures are hard to find nowadays. Businesses that are newly established and started on a low capital usually set up their offices with second-hand furniture only. Owners should provide their employees with ergonomic chairs so they can work to their full potential. I am hoping that when I start working in an office, I’d get the chance to have an ergonomic chair that is adjustable since I have problems with my back. Because of scoliosis, my back starts to ache when I work long hours.

Missing You

Thank You

I miss your lips and your smile,

I miss those sweet kisses you give once in a while.

I miss it when you brush my hair,

And the way you wipe my tears away.

The corny jokes you always deliver,

Make me burst into fits of laughter.

You may have hurt me every now and then,

But you always find a way to make me smile again.

There were things I would have never known if it weren’t for you,

You made me push my limit like no one else can do.

There were things I could have never done without you,

So this is my simple way to thank you.

I will always remember the good things that we shared,

And I will keep the lessons I have learned from you in my heart and my head.

I will now stop counting the tears you made me shed,

Because now I will start to forget the night when ‘goodbye’, you said.

I will always treasure the memories that we had,

I will keep them in a box and place it in my heart.

This is my way of letting go and I am sad,

Because I know that what we had is now part of the past.

A Good night sleep is what youneed

Dreaming is more than an entertainment when you sleep. It plays a vital role in dissecting and regrouping the information that you have obtained during the day. It separates the memories which are essential and stores it in your brain and disposes those that are not important.

            So how come we interpret our dreams? Why do we give meaning on things that we dream of each time we sleep? Some people even base their future and fortune on their dreams.

            How about those dreamless nights that we have every once in a while? Does it mean that our brain is taking a rest from compiling information?

            Scientists believe that during the REM stage in our sleep, our subconscious finds the answers to problems that we are trying to solve when we are awake. Everyone is familiar with the formula, e=mc2, but few really know what it is. The Theory of Relativity was discovered by Einstein in his sleep. After months and months of endless research and studying, a NASA scientist realized in his sleep the proper structure and plan for the first artificial satellite to revolve around the earth.

             A good sleep is what you need the night before an exam. Cramming all the information hours before the exam won’t be of any help for you to ace the exam and will only cause your brain too much stress and often leads to a mental block during the test.

Cancelled Oral Exam

I am supposed to have my oral exam in PI100 today at 2pm. Unfortunately, my professor had to cancel and moved it tomorrow morning instead.

This is like so hassle. I prepared myself for this exam and my prof left the room without leaving a note or something. I went to the department just to ask for his number or if they could contact him kung tuloy ba ung oral exam or what.

I have other plans for tomorrow. Looks like i need  to cancel them.

What my birthday means

Your Birthdate: January 3

You are certain and confident when you choose to love someone. Even though your romantic choices may be unconventional - you stand behind them. Your friends never know you as well as a romantic partner does. Number of True Loves You’ll Have: 3 Number of Times You’ll Have Your Heart Broken: 5 You are most compatible with people born on the 3rd, 12th, 21st, and 30th of the month.

http://www.blogthings.com/whatdoesyourbirthdatemeanforyourlovelifequiz

hehehe.. this is really funny. How come i get to have 3 true loves during my lifetime?! hehe.. my heart will get broken 5 times?! cmon. wait, let me count… I already had 3 heartbreaks, so 2 more to come..

3 true loves? hmm? how many did i have already? Im not really sure.  2?

Dr. Quack-Quack

 Because there were no good shows yesterday, i decided to watch national geographic channel instead.

did you know that ducks have different ways of ‘quacking’ depending on where they live?

Duck who live in the urban area moves faster and quacks louder because they have to compete with the noises produced by cars, people and other things you find in the urban area.

On the other hand, ducks who lives peacefully in the rural areas, spending their day swimming in the pond quack softer and moves slower.

 Wala lang. Just wanted to share this. Hehe. I found it interesting eh.

keeping my distance

I’m dealing with it perfectly well.

I have already decided that i really don’t want him back. Well, I am still torn between holding on and letting go but after giving ample time to weigh things, i realized that my heart now tells me that having him back won’t work. We’re ‘good friends’ now. But i admit, we can’t remain as friends as long as one or both of us hasn’t moved on yet because there will be expectations that cannot be met.

I don’t want him back. That simple. But my brain is arguing with my heart.

As Einstein said,

If your heart is telling one thing and your brain is saying otherwise,

Before deciding, you should consider which of them makes you more effective in deciding.

I know that i follow my heart more than i follow my brain. I am more emotional than logical.

I am going to keep my distance from now on.

FAt is not bad

I was watching Discovery Channel earlier this afternoon and learned that fat is good for your body. When your body runs out of carbohydrates to convert into glucose, which in turn is converted into energy, your body uses up the fat that is stored in your body.

Our ancestors stored as much fat as possible into their bodies in order to survive. So if you still have any plans to burn all those fat in order to get a perfect 10 body, think again. What you hate the most may be something that can save you in the future.

Always be my baby

We were as one
For a moment in time
And it seemed everlasting
That you would always be mine
Now you want to be here
So I’ll let you fly
‘Cause I know in my heart
Our love will never die

You’ll always be a part of me
I’m part of you indefinitely
Boy don’t you know you can’t escape me
Ooh darling ’cause you’ll always be my baby
And we’ll linger on
Time can’t erase a feeling this strong
No way you’re ever gonna shake me
Oh darling, ’cause you’ll always be my baby

I aint gonna cry
And I won’t beg you to stay
If you’re determined to leave boy
I will not stand in your way
But inevitably you’ll be back again
‘Cause you know in your heart babe
Our love will never end

You’ll always be a part of me
I’m part of you indefinitely
Boy don’t you know you can’t escape me
Ooh darling ’cause you’ll always be my baby
And we’ll linger on
Time can’t erase a feeling this strong
No way you’re ever gonna shake me
Oh darling, ’cause you’ll always be my baby

I know that you’ll be back boy
When your days and your nights get a little bit colder
I know that you’ll be back baby
Oh baby believe me it’s only a matter of time

You’ll always be a part of me
I’m part of you indefinitely
Boy don’t you know you can’t escape me
Ooh darling ’cause you’ll always be my baby
And we’ll linger on
Time can’t erase a feeling this strong
No way you’re ever gonna shake me
Oh darling, ’cause you’ll always be my baby

getting over him

    This is the part that i hate most in break-ups; the process of MOVING ON.

You wake up in the morning feeling lousy and the first thing that comes across my mind is that he’s gone. It’s over. All the good and bad things that happened between you keep on playing repeatedly on your mind and sometimes, you just can’t help but cry knowing that all those moments won’t happen again.

    This is the reason why i promised myself not to commit to anyone after my first relationship failed. It took me a year and a half to completely move on. After that, I successfully avoided  commitments that were waiting to happen. I don’t what happened that madehim an exception to the rule that i have made myself.

    Now i ask myself, How long will it take for me to get over him? 

What’s up doc?

I went to Megamall last week to follow-up the paintings that my father was trying to sell in one of the art shops on the 4th floor.

I passed by a stall that sells rodents like guinea pigs, rabbits and hamsters. I thought, " I think it would be nice if i try to have  a pair of rabbit for a pet." I think it won’t be too much of  a hassle compared to taking care of a dog.

    I remember when i was 10 years old, my father bought me a male and female rabbit. I named the male "Bugs" (event thought he really doesnt’t have any resemblance with Bugs Bunny ) and i named my female rabbit Connie. She didn’t really live that long. Our neighbor’s dog got into our backyard and ate her. (May her soul rest in peace) Bugs on the other hand, ran away after a few days.

    After that short-lived experience, i did not make any attempts to take care of rabbits again. They’re not really fun to be a household pet. you can’t teach them tricks like roll-over or play dead. All you can do with them is to watch them chew and chew and chew the food that you give them.

    But nevertheless, I’ll try getting one just for the heck of it. 

Running out of tears

    Nobody but I could really understand the confusion that i’m going through right now. I’m in between holding on to something that i know really isn’t for me,. and letting go of something that will only cause me unending emotional pain and torture. Everbody’s giving me advices on how to move on and what i should and should not do. But they can’t fully comprehend the hullabaloo that’s been going on in my mind lately.

    I really don’t know what to do right now. I sometimes wakeup in the middle of the night cryin. I wake up in the morning and the first thing that I can think of is:

  "I can’t do this. I’m not yet ready to move on. "

     But then as the day passes by, I would stop what i’m doing and realize,

    "I am decided to move on. "

    This could go on for days and days like an unending cycle. In geometry, it is like a line that could go on and on without you knowing when or where it would end.

    Whenever i cry, I always cry my heart out telling myself, "This is the last time I’m going to shed tears. So why not shed it all, right?" This therapy would help me for a few days and then i would cry again for the same stupid reasons i can’t get over with.

    What should i do is a rhetorical question that people around me try their best to answer. But they are only doing it in vain because they know that no matter how hard they try to persuade me to do things for my own welfare, I would still go on my path leading to more emotional pain, thus leading me to another day of misery.

    I know i am the only one who could really answer my own question. What they are giving me are guidelines to the answer to a puzzle that i’ve been laboriously trying to figure out.

    One day i will wake up in the morning, not crying but rather smiling, because i finally found the answer to the question that i keep on asking myself. Now, I’m just hoping that day would soon come because sadly, i am running out of tears to shed. 

Jobs in finance

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UP survey

UP QUIZ.
[ ] worried about getting bullied by fratmen or getting killed in a riot
[ ] got bullied by fratmen or was killed in a riot__
[/] witnessed a riot__UU! hahaha.,. and i enjoy watching them. =sadista=
[/] watched the Oblation Run *twice pa lang*
[/] made friends with a teacher
[ ] was tricked as a freshman into attending a rally/prayer meeting
[ accidentally, yes] wore red or black on one of those wear red or wear black days
[ ] wore red on Valentine’s Day *NEVER*
[/] wore black on Valentine’s Day
[ ] celebrated a birthday at Mang Jimmy’s *di pa ko nakakapunta mang jimmys =pathetic=*
[/] learned UP Naming Mahal (and forgot it immediately after) *hehe. memoryz ko yan*
[ ] got on the dean’s list as CS or US *HOW I WISH*
[/] slept on a bench
[ ] was an RA or SA
[/] lied or begged to an RA for a slot in class
[/] participated in a there’s-only-one-more-slot-are you-feeling-lucky?
[/] jogged around the campus
[/] visited the Vargas Museum *for art stud 2 and with my lola when i was a kid*
[ ] knew at least one xerox lady, manong, or technician by name
[ ] attended university level graduation
[/] got an activist for a teacher
[/] watched a La Salle vs. Ateneo UAAP game
[/] watched a UP vs. any school basketball game *UAAP ADDICT*
[/] studied in CASAA
[ ] studied in McDonald’s or Jollibee Philcoa for one full night and bought just one regular-sized drink
[/] studied along Katipunan cramming in Mcdo/Starbucks *SBC kami eh*
[/] studied along Katipunan and affected the mannerisms of a stereotypical Atenean
[ ] watch a play that’s not required for Comm III
[ ] went stargazing
[/] ate in Chocolate Kiss, Tea Room or Chateau Verde
[/] slept in the lib
[ ] struck up a conversation with a taong grasa
[ ] wrote to/for the collegian.
[ ] seriously pondered about the identity/ies of the people described in Eksenang Peyups
[/] went to the chapel
[/] got a pebble stuck in your shoe/slippers while walking in Sunken Garden
[/] cut class with your block to watch a movie *haha. nagcut kami ng CWTS to watch JOHN TUCKER MUST DIE*
[/] had a voltes V for a teacher— *si GINO VELASCO T_T*
[ ] took a class under Joseph Palis
[ ] lied to the transcript lady to get a transcript earlier than the standard 3 months
[/] went to a Freshman-only concert where you had to show your form 5 to prove freshmanhood *ay nagbantay ako nun*
[/] subsisted on just streetfood (ex. fishballs, half footlongs, kwekwek, squidballs/rolls, mais, dirty ice cream) for a day
[/] learned how to smoke
[/] went on an out-of-town trip with blockmates or orgmates
[/] fell in love
[ / actually read the book you keep borrowing from the lib
[/] played cards during your free time
[/] dress in business attire
[ ] sumabit sa jeep
[ ] got sung to or sung to someone in class during Valentine’s day
[/] watched the lantern parade
[/] helped out a total stranger
[ ] helped out a total stranger because he/she was hot
[/] learned to stay awake for more than 24 or 48 hours straight
[ ] got bullied by fratmen and feeling cool wannabe people who were actually losers
[/] took Wednesday and/or Sat classes WILLINGLY
[ ] volunteered for the pahinungod
[/] ate "tasteless white sauce" pasta from cock-a-noodle-doo
[ ] got a boyfriend/girlfriend
[/] took time to read the vandalism in the CR
[ ] watched a sexy art film for any GE class
[/] got held up or pickpocketed
[/] felt depressed because you were not as good academically as you were in high school
[/] did a last minute paper
[/] had spent a lot for 1×1 ID pictures
[ ] got exempted from final exams
[ ] got exempted from a final exam but still took it
[/] attended a varsity pep rally
[/] watched LIVE AIDS, Androgyny, Maskipaps or any well-known variety show — I didn’t know that Maski is that well known.
[/] promised to quit smoking
[/] got into at least one (org- or council-sponsored) adventure race
[/] knew where the best restrooms are on campus
[/] joined an org
[/] allowed yourself to make mistakes
[/] went to the gym in spite of having no PE class just to ogle varsity players *i did this a lot back then!*
[/] took summer classes
[ ] admired the oblation
[/] made a video for a project
[/] had a crush on a teacher
[ ] had a teacher who had a crush on/tried to court you
[ ] attended your ROTC Bivouac
[ ] faked sickness to get an absence excused
[ ] got your car scratched by one of those "kuya bantayan ko kotse niyo" kids
[ ] took a PE class where you had to pay for tuition (i.e. sportsclimbing, ten pin bowling, etc)
[ ] went to school in your crappiest yet most comfy clothes
[ ] learned how to use the Bayantel pay phones
[/] participated in school activities
[ ] caught the UP Pep Tryouts
[/] dated someone from UP
[/] rode an IKOT and TOKI
[/] found a tambayan
[/] went drinking at Sarah’s
[/] learned how to beg for a higher grade
[/] used your 6 allowable absences wisely
[ ] lived in a dorm
[ ] volunteered to be beadle or go-to guy for your group/class
[/] had the worst schedule
[/] realized that there really is just one coconut tree on the sunken garden
[/] not used up all 6 allowable absences
[ ] ate in ISSI, Treehouse, Mama Thai’s and other more obscure cafeterias
[/] ate food Aristocart-style
[/] attended an ACLE
[ ] got as many app forms as you can during the job fair
[/] learned how to cram
[/] sold tickets for (or watch) an org-sponsored movie premiere
[ ] saved money to Xerox all of your seatmate’s notes
[/] had accidentally seen a make-out session
[/] slept in class
[ ] finished a homework/assignment/paper in the shopping center or philcoa
[/] had mountains of unused sample exams and/or old testaments
[/] resolved to be "better this semester"
[/] slept during a test
[/] had groupmates from hell (ie. no-shows, babblers, dependents, airheads, dreamers, idea stealers, plagiarists)
[/(kailangan eh kung nde bbgsak kaming lahat)] learned how to work with groupmates from hell
[ ] perfected the art of parking on campus
[/] had a bad encounter with one of the guards on campus
[/] developed a love for sisig
[/] practiced those UP cheers in the first meeting for PE class
[ ] looked at microfilms in the library or poked through archives
[/] reserved a classroom, AVR, etc. for a class or org function
[/] attended UP Fair
[/] went to a library other than your own college’s to research
[/] lost a perfectly functioning umbrella
[/] used consultation hours properly
[ ] went to the Guidance Office for real, heart-to-heart guidance
[/] went to the infirmary
[/] attend class with a hangover or tipsy — attended class while drinking??
[/] drink beer or alcohol while inside UP grounds
[ ] walked all the way to Philcoa or Katipunan
[ ] bought frogs from NSRI or a Bio department
[/] maxed out on the 6 allowed unexcused absences but DID NOT drop
[/] got invited or pursued by a sorority or fraternity *No regrets dito. =)*
[/] wore slippers to school
[ ] had a professor who smoked in class
[ ] got diagnosed by the Infirmary as pregnant or infected with STD

i am…

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.

I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.

I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.

I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.

We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.

I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.

I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.

I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn’t have to always deal with society hating me.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don’t believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.

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im getting tired

ive had a lot of things in my mind lately.. I’ve had a hard time getting sleep these past few nights…

nothing been’s the same since it happened.. everything changed. i have foreseen this coming, but i didn’t expect it to be this…. awful. (for the lack of better terms)

let me put it this way.. freedom? GONE… hello? HELL!!

all their disappointments and frustrations on me. I have always been the black sheep of our family.. i’m the  MALDITA. even my mom gave up on my kamalditahan.. she’s always telling me na ‘maldita ko nung bata, pero mas maldita ka sa akin.’ 

this is me… i’ve been like this since i was a kid. i don;t want to be told twice .. 

my lola gave up on me. haha.. and my father’s telling me that they are losing their patience with me… they’re tired of my stubborness.  and me? im tired of their ‘excessive favoritism’ to my other two siblings….

i have learned to be independent because of them… They have a. tas ngayon bigla silang manghihimasok sa buhay ko?! cmon.. ngayon pang 19 na ako?

ayan.. sa sobrang pagiging favorite nila kay ate ayan tuloy. tsk… ayoko na.

malapit na din akong sumuko sa kanila.

it made me realize…

He’s finally here. But he didn’t bring my bag.

I am hungry. Im starving.

I asked him where my bag is but he just shrugged and said that he forgot to bring it.  He apologized for forgetting to bring my bag.  I told him that my lunch was there and i was really really hungry already. I haven’t eaten yet.

he just asked me, "ba’t hindi ka pa naglulunch?"

I really felt like crying then. I tend to get so emotional when im hungry.

When he went for his class, i cried. I really cried and i just can’t stop crying.

What hurt the most was that he made me feel that the fact that i wasn’t able to eat lunch because of him, was lke no bearing for him. 

I cried in the library, in front of the xerox lady, in front of everybody. I wanted to stop because it was really embarassing but i don’t know why i can’t.  I just cried my heart out.

It just made me realize more that i don’t want him back. I DON’T WANT HIM BACK. 

i am starving

I am stuck here at the engineering library waiting for Daryl to arrive.  He has all my things (including my lunch and money) and all that i am left with is his laptop.

He asked me if i can go to UP first so that I can talk to the xerox lady about the book that he was planning to be photocopied. I asked him if he can bring my bag to school since i am going to bring the laptop with me.

Its already past one and my head is throbbing with pain because of hunger.

Speaking of the library, i remembered back when i was in grade 3, i got the Most Frequent Borrower in the Library  award. I guess this would be the first time that you hear of such an award. 

i fequently go and borrow books in the library because i really love reading books when i was a kid. I would borrow one book during recess time and read it all throughout the day (even in class hours) and return it during my breaktime in the afternoon. I would then borrow another book.  The librarian would be skeptical if i really read the book. Hehe.  

Those were the days. Now that i am in college, i have less time to read books. I don’t even have the time to go to the library for leisure. I only go there if i need to use the net or if i have to borrow a book for a homework.